A short list of workplace terms and definitions to help you hit the ground running in demonstrating and leveraging your value add.

BCC: See the shit I have to deal with??

Compliance – An entire department dedicated to monitoring the shredder.

Conflict of Interest – A policy that states “Hey Mr. CEO Guy, You know your brother, the Electrician, the guy you just hired to run the Marketing Department — that is a bit of a no-no.”

Conflict Management – Recommended training for people who have to deal with others and their chronically dumb fucking ideas.

Corporate “Culture” – Futbol + FREE BAGEL FRIDAY!

Delegate (v.)– “I don’t know who is going to do this shit, but it sure as hell isn’t me.”

Inappropriate Fraternization with A Subordinate — Woops. Somebody call PR.

A Real “Go Getter” – Someone who is desperate to move out of his parent’s basement.

Sexual Harassment – A policy re: keeping your thoughts about screwing the intern to yourself unless of course, you are 1) at the Christmas party and/or 2) just really need to say it.

Weekly Status Report – A very official looking document which states, “Remember what we said didn’t get done last week? Ditto.”

Written Up – Early warning sign that your ass is about to be watching day time TV. Permanently.

…………..

If you want to roll up your sleeves and take a deep dive into other vernacular you wouldn’t be caught with your pants down using outside of normal business hours see:

P is for “Push Back”

L is for “Leaving Early”

N is for “Not Client Facing”

I is for “I am Gonna Have to Escalate”