#1) 99% of our population — male, 0% of our population — sober.
#2) Seven miles wide, 5400 acres deep, 3,000 onesie sightings per day.
#3) Cost of pizza at Two Elks Lodge = $4/slice + the 6000% eat here or choose to starve tax.
#4) Sit back and relax — your entire vacation is being facilitated by bunch of dudes who went to prom last year.
#5) Lo siento mucho visitantes de Estados Unidos, pero no hay nadie aqui habla Ingles.
#6) Hey Whistler! How about stickin’ it where the sun don’t shine…which would…er…be pretty much anywhere over there, ay?
#7) Want snow? Come here. Want a place to park? Go to Keystone.
#8) Come for the mountain, stay for the 2 am East Vail bus.
#9) The highest lifties in North America.
#10) Dear Summit County, Feel free to swing on over and kiss our bowls.