#1. If you don’t have to go snorkeling for dinner and/or worry about your children stepping on landmines on their way home from school — allow yourself to be (a little) ripped off by those who do.
#2. Do you see people in urban environments in your own country wearing wicking shirts, pants that zip into 16 different wardrobes and big brimmed hats and think, “God, that dude looks like an asshole”? Ok, then.
#3. 10 out of 10 linguists agree, when forcing someone to communicate in your language because you refuse to learn theirs — repeating yourself with an increasingly louder and louder voice does not aid in comprehension.
#4. Fanny packs and white tennis shoes are only acceptable if your itinerary involves a time machine and 1983.
#5. You know that money belt of yours you can see flopping around underneath your quick dry clothes? Everyone else can too.
#6. If you don’t want to be treated like a hooker, don’t look like one.
#7. That Canadian flag idea? Dead American giveaway.
#8. If no one likes you at home, please do not consider this a problem a change in geography will resolve.
#9. If you can’t live without your country’s food, language, transportation, speed of life, money, customs, hot water and/or air conditioning – perhaps it is better you don’t leave it.
#10. Clothing advertising the location of your Spring Break trip and/or what you drank while on it — should never leave the borders of your own country. No exceptions.
#11. Do you think it would be weird if some complete stranger with a camera came up to you at your place of work and/or up to your children walking home from school and just starting taking pictures? Just wondering.
#12. Don’t be an asshole. See tips #1-11.