How to Choose Friends

how-to-choose-friends There are three types of people:

1. Those who are around for the good times
2. Those who are around for the bad times
3. Friends

Does this mean that you should only associate with the #3s? Of course, not. Does it mean that you should always know who falls into what bucket and act/expect accordingly? Absolutely.

A bit of insight on how to identify each:

Those who are around for the good times

Characteristics of these types include:

  • When fun, laughter and frolicking are around – this guy or gal is around.
  • When weird, strange, uncomfortable things, maybe things with tears included are around – this guy or gal suddenly goes quiet, goes to sleep, goes to the liquor cabinet, turns on the TV, tunes out, runs for the literal or metaphorical door and/or spends their time talking about how this not-so-comfortable thing happening to you is really a big buzz kill for them.

Those who are around for the bad times

Characteristics of these types include:

  • They have zero idea how to behave in normal everyday (dare I say, fun?) situations
  • They are constantly seeking what “may be wrong” with this person, that person, that situation, that couple or that family over there
  • They and their Superhero Saving-the-Day-ness arrive the exact same moment the drama does and depart the second it leaves


Characteristics of these types include:

  • They stand by your side when you and your life is in a messy pile on the floor; and although there is somewhere else they would rather be, something they would much rather be doing they are right there with you and your messy pile on the floor.

AND, the truest, biggest and most eye opening test of them all…

  • If they woke up tomorrow and you were more beautiful, more happy, more creative, funnier, skinnier, more intelligent, more in love and/or wealthier than they had ever known you to be – their friendship would not and will not falter.

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6 thoughts on “How to Choose Friends

  1. Unconditional friendship. The best of all. I so hope each and every person on this planet has a chance to experience it. Love this post!

  2. Beautiful stuff, Linda. I absolutely agree that it helps to know who is in which bucket so that you aren’t disappointed by your own misalignment of expectations. I have a friend who really needs this wisdom right now.

  3. Great article. I’ve been surprised to see the dynamic of friendships change when the element of being able to relate to each others lives changes. I wouldn’t think it was that important but then again it is fun to be able to relate and hell that’s why we get to pick our friends – to have fun!!!

    • I think that is a great point. You would hate to think it is true but many times, not all, it comes down to how much you can relate to each others lives at the time. There seems to be pretty big shifting points in friendships in everything from what people do after high school, to when people start coupling up, marriage, kids, divorce and so on. People come in and out of your life. Sometimes they come in and stay in, sometimes they come in and leave and are never heard from again and sometimes there is a wonderful and happy reunion down the road. 🙂

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