30 signs you are about to die of clutter-cide.
1. You have two people in your house and 36 plasticware containers to accommodate them.
2. You could keep yourself clean for the next three months with your Embassy Suites shampoo and body wash collection.
3. You are are holding onto orphaned socks in case you get a leg amputated.
4. You own medicine for illnesses you don’t have.
5. You have two arms, two legs and 13 bottles of body lotion.
6. You spend more time fighting about your stuff than you do enjoying it.
7. To eat at your table, sleep on your bed or sit on your couch requires make-space-for-yourself prep time.
8. Your only interaction with your storage space is to make sure it is paid for.
9. You have boxes of things you refuse to get rid of or open.
10. You have duplicates or triplicates of anything.
11. Opening closets, drawers or any door in your house (including the front one) elicits a sense of doom.
12. Your home is not your happy place.
13. You feel more comfortable in others homes than you do your own.
14. You can never find anything.
15. You buy things you actually own but simply can’t find.
16. You aren’t using the last five purchases you made.
17. You buy food, take it home, put it away and then at some point put in the garbage and repeat.
18. You have books you haven’t read, won’t read, don’t care about, never finished and haven’t recently so much as touched.
19. You have sports equipment for sports you don’t play.
20. You have baby stuff and no baby.
21. A large majority of your stuff you classify as “things I may need one day”
22, You have one body, a 1000 square foot place and painting clothes to accommodate a marching band.
23. You have, unbeknownst to yourself, starting collecting half used paint cans.
24. You have a two car garage and no space for either of them.
25. You have loads of tools and a fix it man on speed dial.
26. You contract ADD the moment you walk in your door and cure yourself of it the moment you walk out of it.
27. You open your closet and see a bunch of clothes you don’t feel good wearing.
28. You have hangers to accommodate the clothing collection of your county.
29. Your home is not made up of things you need and enjoy but piles to be taken care of “someday”.
30. If your family and friends had to vote for whose home where they fear the highest risk of Nicknack Attack you would know to start writing your acceptance speech.