Girlfriend conversations have evolved from, “Should I ditch my boyfriend?” to “Should I ditch my girlfriend(s)?” I am finding women are now struggling more with breaking up with friends, than they ever did breaking up with boyfriends.
Friends inherently are supposed to be forever where perhaps boyfriends come with lots more contingency clauses, exit plans and Plan B’s. When you decide you need to cut ties with a friend who isn’t doing it for you anymore – it can be more emotional than one would expect.
But that does not mean they still do not need to go. Here are 8 such examples of friends you need to go:
1. The Only Talks About & Thinks About Themselves “Friend”
The good thing about this “friend” is you always know what the conversation is going to be about – them. Their problems, their families, their work, their fortune & fame, their beauty, their boy problems, their kids – whatever it is – you can just sit back, relax and know that you are not supposed to be a friend – but a sounding board – and well they are not a friend – but a soapbox.
2. The Little, Tiny, Never Ending Jabs at You “Friend”
Oh forever you thought, they are right “I can’t just take a joke.” Or, “He just has really bad social skills.” Or that is “just his personality.” But, isn’t it interesting how all of the times you “can’t take a joke” it really seems an awful lot like he is trying to make himself look better – at your expense?
Or isn’t it peculiar, this friend is well aware of the areas of your life you are sensitive about and instead of trying to help you forget – he just keeps helping you remember?
Is that what a friend does? Nope. And this person, my friend, is not a friend.
3. The Only There in the Good Times “Friend”
The Good Times Friends or the party friends, as I refer to them – are not – to be explicitly clear – friends. How do I know? Because when the party is gone – so are they.
4. The Only There in the Bad Times “Friend”
If forced to choose – logic dictates – most people would choose to be your “Good Times Only” friends over your “Bad Times Only” friends– but logic does not work with this group of “friends”. What does work is “misery loves company” and for some “friends” when misery arrives – so does their company. And when it departs – so do they.
5. The “Need, Need, Need, Take, Take, Take” Friend
You know how you know you have this “friend”? Because every time the phone rings or the text dings – you feel that dread in your stomach of, “What could they possibly want now?!?” This person does not treat you like a friend, but like their personal assistant, so either need to start getting paid or you need to quit being friends.
6. The Needs to Be Better Than You “Friend”
I have recently checked this type of “friend” off my list – permanently. And the reason is, instead of enjoying myself with them – I was spending time proving myself worthy to them. I always just had this sense of – you know they were cool enough to be cool with the likes me – even though, they were explicitly clear re: they were so much better than me.
7. The I Say I Want You to Be Happy, But I Really Don’t Want You to Be Happy “Friend”
Honest to God, years back a friend said to me: “It makes me sad that you are now happy.” You know you have this “friend” because right around the time your life goes from misery to marvelous – they go from helpful to horrible. These folks my friends, are absolutely – NOT friends.
8. The Chronically Busy “Friend”
In regards to the “friends” who are chronically too busy to see you, talk to you, hell, respond to an email from you – they are not too busy – they are just not interested in making time for you – find some friends who are.